Disconnection

So often life feels like movement forward and then immediately backward. Right now it’s several steps back in the practices of my life: creative projects, writing, movement, intuitive eating. It can feel so easy to incorporate these areas into my life at one moment, and then impossible at another.

My word for the year is connection, but it’s feeling more like disconnection for me currently. Part of this is my feeling sorry for myself over a knee injury. I felt like there had been so many steps forward, no pun intended (okay maybe a little intended), towards increased movement this year. I met my goal of hiking 4 miles this past June, and then continued past that soon after by hiking 5 miles. I’ve been slowly building skills in my MovNat practice and noticing steady progress.

Then about 3 weeks ago I hurt my knee during one of my workouts. It seems to be a, hopefully, minor meniscus injury. But it’s not a quick recovery process. It’s frustrating to be limited in my range of motion with my knee and the distance that I can walk. Especially after so much progress throughout this past year.

This injury is highlighting other areas of life that have felt more disconnected for me lately. I’ve spent very little time with creative projects this past month and I’ve felt more disconnected in my intuitive eating practice. More of my time has been spent watching TV and scrolling social media. I’m okay with doing those things to a point, but it’s been feeling much more out of balance for me lately. And it’s taking time away from those things that bring truer rest and connection for me.

It’s also a sign to me that I’m ignoring some feelings and challenges that have taken place in my life more recently. While you can’t feel your feelings all the time, I think I’ve been over utilizing numbing and avoiding as a coping mechanism lately. Just the act of acknowledging this and working on this post over the past couple of days has helped me to be more aware of when I’m doing that and given me the space to reflect on why.

What practices or habits in your life help you feel connected? Please share in the comments below.